


Kung Fu Eren

by duraraha



Category: Kung Fu Panda (2008), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, Slow Build, Spoilers- Kung Fu Panda, actually there's going to be waay more characters, dragon warrior! eren, it's like kung fu panda except with swearing and smut, kung fu master! levi, they're not really animals just have some aspects of them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:04:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3384386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duraraha/pseuds/duraraha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In ancient China lies the Valley of Peace, housing multiple animals due to its serene and bloodless atmosphere. Enter Eren. A panda breed whose impractical dream of becoming a Kung Fu master might just come true.<br/>And now enter Master Levi, a red panda breed and legendary Kung Fu master, who will do anything to make sure Eren's dream doesn't come true.<br/>Except fate has other ways of handling certain situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Different Kind of Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I guess I have a lot of explaining to do. First thing, I'm a big KFP dweeb seriously as I was watching KFP:LOA I couldn't help seeing Eren as Po. And yes I know they have differences, but if you look up more on Po, you'll see how alike they really are. ESPECIALLy with the past omg  
> Also this wasn't written just for a crossover. This was written because of my love for Levi x Eren. So expect that!! I know Levi isn't in the summary but he is a major character and basically Eren's love interest! You will be seeing a lot of him lol  
> Anyways so how this will work is I'm going to be writing this story based on the first movie. If you watch the movie, it's going to be exactly like that. Except I'm going to change/add some stuff like dialogues, relationships, use of profanity, and sexual themes (if you get my gist). So if you don't know Kung Fu Panda or haven't seen the movie, I suggest you read my chapters while also watching the part I'm covering. Here is a link to watch the movie- ( http://putlocker.is/watch-kung-fu-panda-online-free-putlocker.html ). This chapter is basically the short intro, where Po (aka Eren) imagines himself as being this Kung Fu warrior and soon wakes up to realize it was just a dream so on so on...btw i wont be summarizing my chapters in the notes from now on...it spoils it! ill give warnings tho.  
> Warning in this Chapter: sexual theme kind of  
> Here are some of my apologies:  
> -I'm sorry that this is pretty poorly written and boring. It should get more interesting, esp. in chapter 2 since Eren and his dad won't be the only ones conversing.  
> -And sorry again, this chapter is pretty short but I promise they will get longer.
> 
> And now begins the actual story  
> p.s. If anyone actually reads this, I would like to know who should be Eren's dad? I know most would think of Grisha first thing, but do realize that in KFP the 1st movie, Mr. Ping, the goose, isn't Po's biological dad. Read up on his past if you want to know what happened to his real dad. It does have some spoilers for KFP 2 though.  
> Okay im sorry my notes are probably longer than the actual chapter i apologize x100 im new to this okay so enjoy maybe!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read to find out!! I don't like spoiling lol
> 
> Link to KFP Movie: http://putlocker.is/watch-kung-fu-panda-online-free-putlocker.html  
> Link to KFP Wikia: http://kungfupanda.wikia.com/wiki/Kung_Fu_Panda_Wiki

A mysterious and unnamed warrior drags himself along the jagged, foe dominated landscape. The ancient Chinese legend tells of this legendary warrior, whose Kung Fu skills were refined and distinguished amongst the others. His identity and very capable Kung Fu skills were hidden beneath his loose golden robe, along with a wide traditional hat flaunting secrecy. He traveled the boundless landscape, in hope to find any enemies whose fighting skills were alike in his expertise.  
The warrior sits silently in the bar, drinking his tea and chewing lightly on bamboo. That is, until the deadly Manchu gang arrive, ready to stir the legendary warrior up.  
“I see our little legendary warrior likes to chew...maybe you should try chewing on my fucking fist!!”  
The Manchu gang’s boss slams his fist into the table, thrashing it into pieces. Although the action is sudden enough for the entire bar to freeze in place, pupils expanding larger than the country of China, the warrior remains unfazed, swallowing his last bit of bamboo while allowing himself to inhale.  
And then he speaks.  
“Enough talk you cowards. Let's fight!” Emerald eyes feasted upon the multiple pair of obsidian eyes in the crowd, cunningly delivering a punch deadly enough to leave the whole gang flying in the midst of the air. In fact, the warrior was so deadly that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness.  
“Shit my eyes! He’s too awesome!”  
Groupies swoon while watching the entire fight.  
“And hella attractive!”  
The bunny owners of the bar eye the warrior gratefully.  
“How shall we ever repay you?!”  
The warrior diligently turns his head and casts his evergreen eyes upon them.  
“There is no charge for awesomeness, nor attractiveness.”  
Suddenly, the entire bar is filled with notorious assassins surrounding the warrior. The bar continues to grow in its enemies, packed to the rafters with inaudible ninjas infecting the area. The warrior remains enclosed, the deafening noise of his foes harassing his ears.  
And then he speaks.  
“Kablooey!”  
The roof explodes, littering the sky with the enemies of Valley of Peace. And the warrior begins to spin in the air, knocking every single one of them out like a tornado of nature. It mattered not how many foes he had faced. They were no match for his incredulous bodacity. A final blow and all of the ninjas and assassins remained unconscious on the ground, their pride fractured as well as their limbs.  
The warrior stands in the field of his foes, and deity rays begin to outline his features, an evident silhouette descending upon the comatose rivals.  
Never before had a panda been so feared... and so loved. Even the most heroic heroes of China, the Furious Five, bowed in respect to his phenomenal presence.  
“We should hang out.” Connie, the agile monkey, spoke.  
And then the warrior promptly responded.  
“Agreed.”  
But hanging out would have to wait. Because when you're facing the ten thousand demons of Demon Mountain approaching, there's only one thing that truly matters. And that's-  
“Eren! Get up!” Connie hollered.  
“You’re going to be late for work!” Mikasa, the vicious tigress, screamed while sounding awfully familiar to Connie. Now that the warrior thought about it, both comrades sounded too much like his dad..  
“What the-”  
Suddenly, a plate plunges on Eren’s head, hitting the sutures running directly across his skull almost violently. His vision remains unstable as he tries to decipher what exactly happened. Well, he was fighting a bunch of local enemies and then out of nowhere he’s in his minuscule room right above the kitchen of his dad’s noodle shop, still trying to discern how close he actually had been to falling into a permanent coma…  
It all made sense now.  
Eren slowly picked himself up from the floor while groaning and rubbing his head gently. Shit, he thought for sure he had been fighting those enemies for real. It was so vivid and clear, the way he sucker punched every assassin and ninja in the entire Valley of Peace.  
“Eren! Get up!” The voice of his dad immediately brought him back to his present state. The post sensation he had received felt so good, so how the hell was it just a dream? Eren halted abruptly before exiting his room to go help his dad with work. He knew what was coming.  
Eren winced as he looked down and saw a wet spot near his groin. _You got to be shitting me._ Eren knew that male teenagers his age got wet dreams occasionally, but were they usually about Kung Fu? Eren bit his lower lip while gathering his thoughts.  
Fuck, he was a Kung Fu weeb.

~~~~~~

“Eren, get down here! You’re late for work!!”  
Eren hadn’t realized he had momentarily zoned out after changing into drier and cleaner pants (due to his little accident). It wasn’t until his mind began pulling the pieces of the puzzle together, finally coming to the conclusion that the voice screaming from below his room was his father’s. In a hurry, Eren ran to the door and attempted to carefully rush down the stairs. Except instead he tripped and fell the entire way down. _Jesus christ Eren, you are one smooth motherfucker._  
Enter Eren Jaeger, our 18 year old panda seed protagonist who was currently face planted onto the floor of his dad’s noodle shop (yes this is our amazing protagonist). His dad simply grimaced at the sight, a gleam in his eyes that could almost be interpreted as familiarity to the ongoing situation.  
“Fuck that hurt!”  
“Eren.” Said protagonist tilted his head slightly in response to his name being called out so sternly. His dad’s shadow looming over him and soaking up his entirety reminded him of the position he was in.  
“Oh shit sorry dad!” Eren quickly straightened himself up and attempted to apologize once more, only to be cut off by his dad’s disciplinary tone.  
“Sorry doesn’t make the noodles.” Man had a point, Eren thought while shutting his dumb excuse of a mouth up, only briefly.  
“What were you doing up there anyways? At one point I thought you had destroyed your entire room.” Eren gave a hasty sigh while trying to avoid telling his dad that he had a wet dream over Kung Fu fighting. Sure, he had no doubt that his father had had a wet dream before, but he had remained in doubt when considering the fact that his dad got wet over dreaming about Kung Fu. Maybe this was only common with soon-to-be Kung Fu warriors? Eren smirked while making a mental note that he would address this particular issue when meeting the Furious Five. That is, if he ever met the Furious Five-  
Sound waves echoing in high frequency had shaken Eren back into his stale reality, knocking his ear drums back into their original use as well.  
“Eren!!”  
“Um...sorry what did you say?”  
“What were you doing up in your room that caused such a ruckus? Even my customers, who let me remind you were at a completely different altitude, complained about such a disruption.” Eren’s dad’s voice, at first, was lingering on the border line of curiosity. Now, it had been pretty apparent that it was slowly falling into the danger zone known as suspicion. Eren spoke immediately, his natural defense mechanism kicking in inconveniently.  
“Just dreaming about some crazy stuff!!” Eren responded stupidly while finally reaching out clumsily for his apron and a bowl in order to prepare the noodle soup. You are one fucking genius, he dryly commented to himself mentally.  
“About what?”  
“Um...Huh?”  
Eren wanted to slap his dumb ass self but refrained from doing so by instead grinding his set of teeth against the bottom of his lip. Now he had opened a door he definitely did not feel like going through. He would be ecstatic to close it now though.  
“The dream, Eren. What were you dreaming about?”  
Shit, shit, shit. Eren looked at the first thing accessible to his vision and responded before actually taking the time to understand what he had said.  
“Noodles!” Eren screamed while he silently debated whether he was suicidal or not. It definitely seemed that way, given with all his responses that clearly demonstrated his lack of lying effectively.  
The sound of vegetables being chopped against the cutting board abruptly stopped. Eren worried for the smallest of seconds before looking over his shoulder to see his dad’s pupils dilated, a sight he had rarely seen.  
“Noodles. Were you really dreaming about noodles?” Eren inwardly panicked, ultimately deciding he would feign ignorance (something he had recently realized he did not need to feign so often to pull through with).  
“Of course dad. What else would I be dreaming about?” Definitely not dreaming about being the Kung Fu warrior of the Valley of Peace while wetting himself. Shit that sounded lame. Eren contemplated the ways to reword it to actually sound cool before his thoughts were completely cut off by his dad’s immediate interruption.  
“Oh, what a happy day! My son, finally having the noodle dream! You don't know how long I have been waiting for this moment!” As sudden as his words were, Eren’s dad threw his arms around waist, forcing him into an uncomfortable one sided hug.  
“This is a sign, Eren!”  
“Uh...a sign of what exactly?” Eren quickly regretted those words. His dad’s eyes radiated at him expectantly while tightening the embrace.  
“You’re almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my "Secret Ingredient Soup." And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant, just like your grandfather and I did.”  
Eren whined while pushing his dad out of the awkward embrace.  
“Come on, dad. It was just a dream.”  
“No son, it was the dream. We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.” He added, returning to his original position of swiftly chopping up the vegetables. The words escaping from Eren’s mouth moved faster than his thoughts could catch up with.  
“But didn't you ever want to do something else with your life? Something besides cooking noodles?” “Actually…” Eren’s eyes widened in disbelief, almost as if his dad had taken his somewhat offensive words seriously.  
“I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu as a teenager your age.”  
Eren unconsciously leaned closer, trying to meet his dad’s gaze while yelling out the next few words.  
“So why didn’t you?!” Eren’s dad instead decided to avoid his determined gaze, his eyes and his mind ultimately getting lost somewhere else as he began to hum absently. He then restored his previous task of chopping up the leeks.  
“Really Eren, could you imagine me making tofu?” Eren’s dad opted to laugh before finishing his sentence completely. The laugh hit Eren somewhere deep, and although Eren knew he was at fault for bringing up such a heated conversation, he still felt the urge to blame his dad for the heavy feeling growing around his heart.  
“We all have our place in this world son. Mine is here and yours is-”  
“Here. I know.” Eren murmured dejectedly. His dad faced him this time, hands filled with bowls of soup.  
“Actually no. It's at tables two, five, seven, and twelve.” Eren’s dad laughed again, strained and rushed, before propelling the soups in his son’s direction. Eren dragged himself off before another interruption from his dad caught him completely off guard.  
“Oh and Eren.” Eren swinged his head in his dad’s direction, immediately wishing he hadn’t.  
“Don’t forget. Service with a smile.” And soon enough, Eren forced a reluctant smile to ghost over his face as he headed towards the tables decorating the shop.  
A gong sounded heavily in the background of his mind, reminding him to neglect the hopeless thoughts that continued to eagerly eat his desires away.  
The dream of becoming a Kung Fu master continuing to grow further from his reach as a he headed to service the empty customers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys so I'm going to list the characters introduced in this chapter only and who they represent:
> 
> Po, panda- Eren Jaeger  
> Monkey, monkey- Connie Springer  
> (1/5 of Furious Five)  
> Tigress, tiger- Mikasa Ackerman  
> (1/5 of Furious Five)  
> Mr. Ping, goose- Eren's dad (adoptive dad)
> 
> Anyways thanks to anyone reading and feel free to correct any grammatical mistakes (I'm positive I have them) or help improve my writing with thoughtful suggestions. I appreciate anyone reading this, as I am new lol


	2. When the Dragon Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and some more serious complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I may or may not leave chapter summaries. I didn't this time because I didn't want to spoil it.  
> Anyways this chapter is pretty long and I actually managed to get the plot going plus adding new characters. So enjoy.
> 
> Also at the end notes I'm going to list all the characters so far and who they represent from KFP so keep an eye out for that.  
> Sorry for any grammatical errors, feel free to point them out and thanks for any support!  
> It took forever writing this lol
> 
> btw i don't know why I have 2 end notes...the 2nd one is from the first chapter and idk why it's there...
> 
> Link to KFP Movie: http://putlocker.is/watch-kung-fu-panda-online-free-putlocker.html  
> Link to KFP Wikia: http://kungfupanda.wikia.com/wiki/Kung_Fu_Panda_Wiki

The mist surrounding the famed Jade palace continued to softly breathe, and not too far rested a red panda breed, playing a wooden flute. The bushes and assortment of alike trees enthralled themselves in the symphony of annotations eluding into the hushed breeze, quivering in response to the alluring harmony. Parted lips rested upon complacent wood, slender fingers rhythmically proceeding to carry out the mild tune as they scampered along the open holes.  
The Furious Five would have enjoyed being carried away into a better realm of peace if there was not a present task at hand. And so they began, simultaneously attacking the idle man, their postures stiffening as the man who had previously feigned oblivion retaliated immediately and with aggression. He had been a friend of light and speed, along with competence while reminding the Furious Five that it was indeed possible to act as an epitome of Kung Fu perfection. The man gracefully blocked the hostile and attempted attacks with the wooden flute, the bird who had previously sung his tune of defiance.  
And it was only a matter of seconds before his tactics of defense led to the Furious Five presently shaken in the air.  
Quickly, they begin to roll themselves back onto the ground, keeping a firm stance as their master began to speak.  
“Well done, students... if you were trying to fucking disappoint me.” Master Levi gritted his teeth in response to their so called attempt of an assault, his flute conveniently reappearing. He had been on the verge to falling asleep and his ignorant students couldn’t even attack him properly. Well, if he had been completely honest, he wasn’t expecting any better. He knew his students well, and although he acted like they were the stupidest shits in the world (which was somewhat true), he knew both their fortes and flaws. The hype they had always received created this superiority complex within them. He knew they couldn’t further advance if they did not take notice of their innate weaknesses.  
“Mikasa, you need more ferocity. Connie, greater speed. Armin, height. Sasha, subtlety.  
Jean-” Levi ignored the twitching eyebrow that appeared after having seen Mantis replaced with the annoying palace goose breed, Bertholdt. Bertholdt trembled in place as Levi lunged his flute towards his face, making sure to get a good reaction out of the stupid kid for wasting his time.  
“Master Levi!!”  
What the fuck do you want?” Bertholdt inhaled sharply before continuing his sudden speech, Levi growing closer and closer to choking the dumb shit.  
“Master Erwin! He wants to see you!” Levi simply frowned at the name of his master. Sure, he held an immense amount of respect for the guy, but at the same time he knew Erwin’s annoying strategies. Always confronting you with an upcoming problem, giving you the vaguest of advice only some Plato shit could understand and allowing you to mend the broken quilt yourself. Levi brought the flute to promptly back to his side, allowing Bertholdt to breathe after he had seen the kid holding it in like some sort of shit. And as quick as his Kung Fu tactics, the short man had departed from his previous meditation and shit for brains students, in a hurry to hear the news from Erwin he knew all too well to be bad.  
~~  
Candles, incense, and smoke fill the unnerving Hall of Warriors within the Jade Palace. The door bursts open, the candles flickering sensitively in response. Levi enters, not bothering to bow in the presence of a fellow Kung Fu god.  
“Something wrong?” Levi states, allowing him to throw a glare at Erwin, who was just now noticing his presence. Erwin remains on his peach tree staff for a few more moments before deciding to gracefully retort to a more standard position, his body moving as a unison. Levi growls lowly at the man taking his precious little time.  
“Why must something be wrong for me to want to see my old friend?” Erwin promptly states, a radiant smile coloring his hopeful features. Levi remains disinterested as he opens his mouth hastily.  
“So is nothing wrong or what?”  
“Well...I didn’t say that.” Erwin slowly walks over to the hundreds of candles lit around the holy Moon Pool water of the palace. One by one, he blows on them softly, almost as if comforting a lonely, wavering child. Although the act would seem endearing to many others, Levi definitely didn’t have time to deal with this old man’s shit.  
Levi blows them all out with one simple Kung Fu move. Erwin remains rooted for what seems like a minute but immediately regains life and smiles knowingly at the humourless short man. Levi had definitely been thrown off by Erwin’s smile and was not expecting the words escaping from his lips.  
“I had a vision...of Annie returning.”  
Levi stiffens instantly, unaware of the fear stricken look he gives Erwin. Memories begin to appear of Annie as he stares at the claw marks surrounding the palace, icy blue and stoic eyes that had slowly altered themselves as Annie did, changing into a violent yellow shade. Levi realizes that he must be giving away too much emotion by the glint of sympathy in Erwin’s eyes and avoids meeting the marks of the palace. Regaining his composure, he speaks.  
“Impossible. She’s locked away in prison.” Levi tries regaining superiority in his voice but the wavering of his tone immediately gives his false composure away.  
“Nothing is impossible.” Levi had had enough of Erwin’s crappy pep talk and quickly decided he would take matters into his own hands.  
“Bertholdt!” Said boy hastily hurries to Levi’s side, only to be bombarded with harsh demands entering and exiting his ears.  
“Fly to Chogun Prison and tell them to double the guards, double their weapons. Double everything! Annie Leonhardt will not leave that prison.” The last statement had Bertholdt shaken temporarily. _Annie? Levi knew of Annie?_ Bertholdt’s thoughts shattered as Levi screamed once more in his ears.  
“Now!!”  
“Y-yes Master Levi!!” Bertholdt quickly attempted to fly and share the news but managed to hit his face first right into a column. Bertholdt feels two stares in his direction: one with such fond kindness and some sort of subliminal message hinting him (though he couldn’t come to understand it) and another one that crawls up beneath his skin and rattles his entire insides. He decides to ignore the second one while awkwardly returning to flying once again. Bertholdt never knew his friend Annie was in prison...he wanted so deeply to save her but knowing her even after her beautiful blue eyes had changed darkly, he knew Annie was probably in there for her own good. The memory of watching Annie practicing in the training hall returns. He couldn’t ever forget her bold stance and her striking eyes. Everything was coming back too quickly for him and Bertholdt felt the unforgettable hot sensation lazily growing in his eyes. _Not right now, Bertholdt. Not right now._  
~~~  
Erwin stared at the back of the child’s head. _Bertholdt, please do not try to do anything foolish._ He hoped the kid had some sense in him and quickly returned to addressing the hidden worry growing inside of Levi. He eyed him up and down, understanding that his friend was trying his best to solve this situation. Only his strategy was incorrect and Erwin knew he wouldn’t be able to stay any longer by Levi’s side. He couldn’t save Levi again like last time. He just couldn’t.  
“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.” Erwin closed his eyes, walking closer to the water of the moon pool.  
“Well what the hell else are we supposed to do?! We can’t just sit around like fucking logs, waiting for destiny to do its shit! We need to do something. We can't just let her march on the valley! She'll, she'll-”  
“Levi.” He hears a gasp escape from Levi’s lips, although it is almost inaudible. “It can no longer be we. Just you.” Erwin opens his eyes, staring at the unsteady reflection he receives from the moon pool.  
“Don’t give me that shit.” Levi hisses, keeping his head low. “What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?!”  
“Your mind is like this water, Levi. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.” Levi was just about to pounce on Erwin’s ass for talking like he was Plato and Levi was some reincarnated Aristotle but quickly stopped as he began to understand what Erwin had meant. The water of the moon pool was in waves, obviously stressed from the voices plunging on its wholeness. But as soon as Erwin gently caressed it with his staff, the water stabilized, clear and distinct. It reflected so vividly the ornate and intricately carved dragon above, clutching the divine scroll in its mouth.  
“The Dragon Scroll…” Erwin smiled at Levi’s words before speaking once again.  
“It is time.”  
“Who the hell can we trust with the fucking secret to limitless power?! Do you really believe this No-Brains village has anyone worthy of becoming the Dragon Warrior for christ sake?!”  
It took a long awkward pause before Erwin opened his mouth to respond.  
“I don’t know.”  
Levi mentally face palmed at his master’s words.  
Yes, this was the wise genius of the Valley of Peace.  
~~~~~  
It seemed like an eternity serving the ever so grouchy customers of his dad’s noodle shop. It was also hard for a lean and tall giant like him to serve them properly without having to taste the bitterness of their endless complaints.  
“Hey Eren, can I get another over here?”  
“Yes sir!” That was the plan, to get to table 12 and deliver the patron’s bowl of noodle soup. Except he hadn’t exactly been paying attention and soon enough he felt something wet on his butt.  
“Ugh! Disgusting!” Before Eren knew it he had been practically sitting in a customer’s bowl of noodles.  
“Oh shit I’m sorry! Wait I didn’t mean to say shit, shit!” The bunny breed customers frowned in disgust at Eren, quickly covering the ears of their indefinite number of children.  
“We won’t tolerate butt soups and indecent language!” And with that, the customers angrily stormed from the outdoor shop, not even bothering to pay the bill.  
“Eren I asked for soup 10 minutes ago!” The angry voices of his dad’s customers continued to feed his rising blood. What gave them the right to boss him around like he wasn’t the one clearly in charge? Eren let out a breathy sigh before silently cooling himself off. He honestly wondered how he hadn’t murdered anyone yet.  
Eren did not see the couple of palace geese putting up a poster on the wall of his dad’s noodle shop. The abrupt sound of a tiny gong being hit by a palace pig awoke Eren from his daydreams. A short gasp escapes his open lips.  
“Guys! Master Erwin's choosing the Dragon Warrior! Today!” The entire shop seemed to rattle with amusement and excitement, departing quickly to view the show.  
“Everyone what are you waiting for?! Go! Get to the Jade Palace! We've been waiting a thousand years for this! Just take your bowls and go!” Despite many customers stuffing their lard faces in their meal, Eren promptly urged every single one of them to leave, proclaiming the importance of this event.  
Eren immediately notices an old customer counting more coins than she has years to live. He sighs heavily while pushing her out mildly, yelling hysterically to her as he forces her out.  
“This is the greatest day in Kung Fu history, dammit! Don't worry about it, just go!!”  
Eren’s mind had controlled his feet and before he knew it, he was just about to run to the Jade Palace. A familiar voice beckoned Eren’s existence.  
“Eren! Where are you going?”  
Eren winced silently as he recognized the voice to be his dad’s. The only thing Eren could currently think of doing was telling the truth.  
“I’m going to the Jade Palace dad…”  
“But you're forgetting your noodle cart! The whole valley will be there, and you'll need to sell noodles to all of them!”  
“Selling noodles? Dad, I was kinda thinking maybe I…” Eren was visibly upset by now and of course the only person who could not tell was his oblivious father.  
“Yeah?”  
“I was kinda thinking maybe I…”  
“Uh huh?”  
Eren was so close to gathering any courage he had to tell his dad why he really wanted to go to the Jade Palace. He wanted to watch Kung Fu at its finest, the Furious Five and the legendary Masters Erwin and Levi present at such a refined gathering. He wanted to watch as famed legends flunged at each other, each equal in their precise skills of Kung Fu. But of course, he had lost his nerve completely, and the hopeful look in his dad’s eyes always caught him completely off guard.  
“I was kinda thinking maybe I…...could also sell the bean buns. They are about to go bad…” Eren’s dad smiled stretched across his face, burning Eren’s frown with its strong and radiant contentment.  
Eren was always at his weakest with his dad, and he could never bring himself to disappoint his dad. Not after his dad had done so much for him.  
“That's my boy! I told you that dream was a sign, son!”  
“Yeah haha...I’m glad I had it.” And with that, once again, Eren replicated that fake smile from earlier, for the sole purpose of keeping his dad happy.  
~~  
“Holy Fuck.” Eren had no other words to describe it. They were no other words suited to describe the never ending stairs that led to the Jade Palace. Eren gulps while trying to compose himself. If the rest of the pigs in his village can do it, then so can he...right?  
Wrong.  
Eren had made it up 7 stairs in the past hour. The pig breed villagers passed by him, nodding their head in visible sympathy.  
“Sorry Eren, we’ll bring you back a souvenir.” One of them suggested, waving back at Eren as they further advanced.  
 _Fuck, this stupid noodle cart is fucking heavy. And no you don’t need to bring me back a souvenir,_ Eren commented mentally, _I’m the one who’ll be bringing back YOU a souvenir!_  
And thus begins Eren’s ascent up the flight of stairs, promising a better land.  
~~  
Erwin glides gently along the stairs while the palace pigs sound gongs in response to his divine presence. Among him is his old friend, Master Levi. He sighed calmly while reminiscing on their lingering shared past. It was finally the day and Erwin could only endure so much more.  
“I guess today’s the day, huh Erwin?” Erwin smiled, acknowledging the shorter man’s presence. He stood still, face filled with unreadable emotions before quietly speaking.  
“Yes, and one I feared I would not live to see. Are your students ready?” Levi looked at the man, confusion momentarily taking over his usual facade. Deciding to ultimately ignore the man’s first part of his statement, Levi grunted in response.  
“Yeah.”  
“Now know this, old friend. Whomever I choose will not only bring peace to the Valley, but also to you.”  
Levi froze in his place. A strangled look crossed his face and he tried so so hard to ignore the man’s words, but the foreign and yet almost nostalgic feeling budding in his heart was something he couldn’t run away from. Levi clutched his chest tightly, restraining himself from bringing up memories that were meant to be kept forgotten.  
Levi hadn’t realized that Erwin was no longer in his vision. He unconsciously ran to him, something he knew he often did. The two walk towards the hungry crowd settled in the Palace’s arena.  
“Let the tournament begin!”  
~~  
Eren was sure that his fucking legs were about to detach themselves from his body. He was almost sure of it. So that’s why when Eren looked up expectantly to see the Jade Palace, he was positive there were tears clotted from behind the rim of his eyes. _He had finally made it._  
Eren smiled dumbly while picking himself up from the miles of stairs. He was in the middle of catching his breath when he saw the two red doors slowly closing.  
“No! No no no! Fuck, wait for me! I'm coming!”  
Eren ran as fast as his broken legs could take him, only to have the two colossal doors smack him right in the face.His body vibrated while he attempted to knock on the doors. The drums inside met his rhythm, drowning his frantic beat. His screams failed him, lost deep inside of the harsh noises roaring within the arena. Eren temporarily loses his composure until he finds a small window, revealing the premises of the Jade Palace arena. He jumps weakly while struggling to pull himself up. Yes, this could be possibly the worst situation to watch the selection of the dragon warrior, but Eren didn’t care. His stomach was fluttering with those so called butterflies, and as cheesy and cliche it sounded, Eren was positive the insects rattling inside him were definitely there.  
“Shit heads- I mean citizens of the Valley of Peace! It is my great honor to present to you... Mikasa, spirit of Tigress! Sasha, spirit of Sake! Armin, spirit of Crane! Connie, spirit of Monkey! And Jean, spirit of Mantis! The Furious Five!” Master Levi’s words rolled perfectly off the man’s lengthy tongue. Now that Eren thought about it, he had never really seen Master Levi in person. And so when he did, Eren most certainly didn’t understand why his grey prickling eyes had struck him so quickly in his heart. The butterflies that were previously in his stomach shifted to his heart, buzzing and humming to his rapid heart beat. Eren tried breathing calmly but the sight of Levi threw his entire mind off. He remained in a heated one sided gaze until he noticed the aloof man looking directly at him. Eren instantly froze. His mind stopped working for a second (he was sure of it) and before he knew it, Eren had let go of the opening in the wall, the window falling straight on his nose. Not only had the window caused Eren to receive sharp agonizing pain and crisp blood from his nose, but it also managed to simultaneously shut close. It took a few minutes before Eren’s mind started working again and he soon realized the complications of his current situation. His agitated sigh is immediately cut off as he notices a small hole in the giant ancient doors.  
“Fuck yeah, a peeky hole!” Eren peers through the small hole, searching for the centre of the arena. He told himself he was definitely looking for Armin, not the man who had made his heart beat skip irregularly.  
“Yeah! Woo! The Thousand Tongues of Fire!” Eren watched in awe as Armin, the crane breed, lifted his enormous wings. But before Eren could witness any more, he was met with yet another problem.  
“Whoa! Look at that.” Eren growled loudly as his previous vision of Armin flapping his wings wildly was replaced with the back of a pig villager’s head.  
“Move out of the fucking way!”  
Eren backs away to get a better view of Armin who is presently flying in the sky, fireworks decorating his fighting scene.  
Except he accidentally backs away a little further than he intended, his ass meeting the stone stairs.  
“Shit!” Eren brings himself back up rapidly only to take notice of the currently empty sky. He missed it.  
Eren becomes so desperate to watch the show he actually attempts to karate chop the doors. Only, of course, that becomes a failure.  
Eren attempts a pole vault, but falls straight on his back. The pole whips around and hits him into the arena wall and Eren is almost positive the cracking noises he hears is from both his nose and his skull.  
Eren rigs a catapult, only to get his ass completely whooped by it. The bamboo hits his head, face, back and torso violently, leaving bloody whips all over his body.  
Eren, now bloody in every part, sits alone on top of Jade mountain. Depression progressively takes over his body until Master Levi’s alluring voice delivers once again.  
“And finally...Spirit of the Tigress, Mikasa! And believe me citizens, you have not seen anything yet!”  
 _“Ugh, I know!!”_ Eren screams while pulling a rope he had found and tied to a tree. He finally manages to launch himself into the sky, getting closer to the arena. His hopes and dreams are crushed as he finds himself currently disheveled in a nearby firework tent, outside of the arena.  
Inside, Erwin lifts his finger to point at what seems like nothingness. The crowd gasps and Erwin begins to speak.  
“I sense the Dragon Warrior among us.”  
Levi sneers at his students, ordering them to gather in the center of the ring.  
“Citizens of the Valley of Peace! Master Erwin will now choose...the Dragon Warrior!”  
~~  
Eren looks around desperately before looking at the fireworks again openly. Finally, his so called brain begins to once again function somewhat properly, giving him his last hope of an idea.  
Eren finished tying the last load of fireworks onto the chair. Before fate decides to act like a bitch again, Eren lights the fireworks, preparing for take off.  
Except his dad just suddenly decides to appear right before he has his last and only chance of seeing the selection of the Dragon Warrior.  
“Eren?! What the hell are you doing?!” Eren’s dad looks mortified, a mixture of disgust and concern drawing over him. He immediately rushes to Eren’s side, blowing out the flames of the fireworks furiously.  
“What does it look like I'm doing?! No, stop it dad! Stop it! I'm going to go see the Dragon Warrior!”  
“But I don't understand? You finally had the noodle dream!”  
Eren looks both uneasy and irritated before he begins to speak. He inhales loudly, an attempt to get his dad’s attention presently, which clearly seems to work.  
His dad stares at him, eyes enlarging with both ignorance and confusion.  
“I lied, dad. I don't dream about noodles and honestly whoever does has some serious issues!” Eren’s dad’s face morphed into one of hurt. His eyes appeared to be coated with thin liquid, but he turned his head quickly, avoiding Eren’s guilt stricken face. He had to get this over with. Shutting his eyes, Eren broke the thick, heavy silence.  
“I’m sorry dad. But now I finally get to say it. I love Kung Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-”  
His eyes promptly shoot back open. The only reason Eren had confessed his dreams to his dad was because he was sure he would be rocketing to the sky on the chair lit with fireworks, too far for his dad to say anything else. But once Eren noticed that he was still on the ground, nowhere near the sky, Eren blushed crazily in embarrassment, too ashamed now to face his dad.  
“Come on, Eren. Let's get back to work.” The clear disappointment in his father’s voice allowed emotions to slowly pour out. And by emotions, Eren really meant tears.  
“Okay.” Eren wheezed, still in a state of sudden anxiety.  
But before Eren could follow his dad back home, the rockets that appeared dead before ignited, propelling Eren straight into the stadium wall. And Eren felt his ass on fire. Literally.  
“Eren?! Come back!!”  
Eren would have tried if he could. _If_ he could. But he really couldn’t control the rockets launching him straight forward and into the sky, leaving a display of fireworks behind.  
“Ooooh! Aahhh!” The crowed cheered.  
Eren looked down below, realizing how high he was currently. He was kissing the clouds of the Jade Mountain, his eyes going foggy before he could understand what was presently happening.  
And then Eren felt strange, like he was sitting on nothing. Looking down, his previous assumption had been right, the chair’s ashes departing Eren to mingle with the clouds.  
The only thing Eren saw before falling was a tiny male figure, icicles for eyes staring him down, even despite the large altitudinal difference.  
~~  
Eren’s eyes open.  
His sight desperately tries making things out, deciding whether it should allow Eren to see vividly or blurrily.  
He finally regains consciousness in his eyes and the first thing he sees is the Furious Five looking down at him, appalled. Eren comes around slowly, gathering his bearings properly. He quickly glances around and sees the Kung Fu legend known as Erwin standing just above him. Strangely, the man is smiling brightly at him, finger pointing at him.  
“What's going on here? Where am...uh? What are you pointing at-?  
Eren looks up, wishing he had still been in his comatose state because right then do things start to clearly make sense to him, and an awful realization dawns upon him.  
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was I swear I wasn’t-”  
“How interesting.” Erwin simply states. It’s right at that moment that Mikasa begins to speak.  
“Master, are you pointing at...me?” She asks, her face hopeful although faking apathy.  
“Him.” He responds.  
“Who?”  
Eren tries moving out of the way of Erwin's finger, but it seems stern on the idea of continuing to keep on following him.  
“You.” He smiles widely, azure blue and youthful eyes fixated on the boy’s dilating emeralds.  
“Me?!”  
Erwin chooses to ignore Eren’s stupid question and reaches out to grab his hand. He launches their interconnected hands before yelling.  
“The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!”  
“What?!” Eren squeaks.  
“What??!” The Furious Five spit in unison.  
“What???!” Master Levi hisses.  
“What????!” Eren’s dad seethes.  
And so begins the journey of our hero, the Dragon Warrior of the Valley of Peace, named Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Characters listed in order of appearance*
> 
> Chapter 1 Characters:
> 
> Po, panda- Eren Jaeger (protagonist)  
> Monkey, monkey- Connie Springer (1/5 FF)  
> Tigress, tiger- Mikasa Ackerman (1/5 FF)  
> Mr. Ping, goose- Eren's dad (adoptive dad)
> 
> Chapter 2 Characters:
> 
> Shifu, red panda- Levi Ackerman (Kung fu master/legend)  
> Crane, crane- Armin Alert (1/5 FF)  
> Viper, snake- Sasha Blouse (1/5 FF)  
> Mantis, mantis- Jean Kirschtein (1/5 FF)  
> Zeng, goose- Bertholdt Fubar (palace messenger geese)  
> Oogway, tortoise- Erwin Smith (Kung fu master/creator/legend)  
> Tai Lung, snow leopard- Annie Leonhardt (antagonist)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys so I'm going to list the characters introduced in this chapter only and who they represent:
> 
> Po, panda- Eren Jaeger  
> Monkey, monkey (lol)- Connie Springer  
> (1/5 of Furious Five)  
> Tigress, tiger- Mikasa Ackerman  
> (1/5 of Furious Five)  
> Mr. Ping, goose- Eren's dad (adoptive dad)
> 
> Anyways thanks to anyone reading and feel free to correct any grammatical mistakes (I'm positive I have them) or help improve my writing with thoughtful suggestions. I appreciate anyone reading this, as I am new lol


End file.
